Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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