normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
