I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
