he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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