I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize