I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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