I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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