yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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