I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
