Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
