Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
