Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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