Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
