just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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