a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize