We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
