But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
