Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
