How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
