One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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