3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
