The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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