no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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