Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The feeling are messing with the penis
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He has the fingertips of a God
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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