That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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