Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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