and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
