Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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