I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
