Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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