sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
