She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize