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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
