I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
