Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
