Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
