True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
