well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
