Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
