it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
