So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
