Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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