'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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