Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
