ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
should my penis look like a turkey
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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