Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize