Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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