During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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