My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
