where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
