I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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