i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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