I think scott just propositioned me for sex
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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