The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
