fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
