she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
