bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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