But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
