Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
