it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
