If i come over, it means nothing
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
