I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
